The Missing Crewmembers

Just a quick note to update you all. You may have noticed that Jack and the Doctor have not been on the blog since we landed. The Doctor is extremely excited, having landed a job in a childrens toy shop, and is constantly bringing home broken toys to try and fix with his sonic screwdriver, which makes him far too busy to post on the internet.
Jack is still not permitted to leave the apartment building, but he has written to Torchwood One, explaining the necessary details and applying for a job. In the meantime, he has been very helpful around the house. He is currently in the kitchen starting on dinner and packing a lunch for the Doctor. (I swear, it's like living with a regular family! The Doctor and the Master are like small children--the former, a six-year-old ecstatic at his first day of school. The latter, a younger child, jealous that he is too young (or in this case, too dangerous) for school. I guess that makes Jack and me the parents?)
Oh, dear. The Master seems to have gotten the cat lodged in the ventilation shafts again. I think he's trying to convert her into one of his little minions. Luckily, Marie is too clever for that.

Venus Project Fundraiser--Fantastic or Fiasco?

This week, in another attempt to force the Master and I to get along, the Doctor paired us up for the Venus Project Fundraiser. This year's Fundraiser was cookie selling. I used this as an opportunity to raise awareness for the Project. The Master was surprisingly helpful, aiding me in loading cookies into crates for the customers. He used this activity as an opportunity to find out which buyers had the most money in their wallets, by "helpfully" assisting people to pay for their purchases. Many of these customers returned a short while later, rather angry at the mysterious disappearance of much of the contents in their wallets. Among these customers was a small girl of about twelve, who had nothing in her bag but a toonie and a library card. (Really, Master? What could you possibly achieve by stealing a ten-year-olds library membership?)
However, I must admit that we did raise more money this year than any past fundraiser has. Because of our sudden increase in funds, the Project has been extended for another six months instead of expiring in fifty-seven days as it was originally supposed to. (This--in addition to the fact that my wrist is almost healed--means we can, in fact, go to the Amazon, which the Doctor has been bugging me about for a few weeks now.)

Back to Business

Since everyone was so preoccupied with the TARDIS-stalker, the argument between the Doctor and myself, the Doctor and Master's relationship, and the arrival of the Lava Shark and Jack, I've decided to bring us back to the original point: the terraformation of Venus. Right now we--sorry, I--am studying the adaptations that will have to be nurtured in the local life forms to allow both them and humans to live together harmoniously. Right now, we--er, I--have a Lava Shark in the lab and am running tests. (Thank you, Jack, for helping me move it.) I would like to encourage everyone to keep an eye out for Lava Snakes, as I will be needing some to study soon and they are quite common around here, although a nuisance to collect. They are rather difficult to spot, as they are lava-colored and have a similar motion pattern. I have set out a net in one of the larger lava-flow areas, but as Lava Snakes have excellent senses, I doubt I will catch any without help from others. (Hint hint!)
Well. Now you are up to date in the lab. Not much else is new, except for the Doctor's latest literary obsession with early 21st-century "chick-flick" style novels. The reason for which I have no idea. I'm less concerned about the cause and more concerned about the aftereffects, as the Master has recently become irritated that the Doctor is too busy with his books to pay attention to him and has instead been spending a lot of time in the lab trying to mess up my research. (The Master, not the Doctor.) So if you see him with a bunch of hairpins near my filing cabinets, stop him, because it means he's picking the lock. Again!

Doctor + Buffy = What Vampires? Those were totally Saturnynians...

With the beginning of this month comes a new barrage of questions, theories, and research opportunities that are dying to be explored, so we'll be quite busy in the lab for the next few weeks...Please excuse our sad lack of new posts for the next bit. Also as the Doctor appears to have gone AWOL, the Master and I are working on finding him. Knowing the Doctor, he's popped out to get an original copy of Dracula in London, 1897 and forgotten to tell us.

Look, i drew a self portrait!

Hanawesome: handsome plus awesome. I got a new tie! it's purple! like blood! I like blood. NOT LIKE THAT, JACK! I added my location as venus, which apparently for the rather dim is in californya. I mean , californya? Did they put a decoy there? Everyone know venus (NOT YOU JACK) is in cardiff! Californya is made of fake tans and vampires. Even the slightly dim know that! You poor pathetic wierdly-cardioligical-arranged (it's a word because i say so) ape-beings know that! But apparently, my computer dosent. Maybe if i threaten it it'll work better?

Lost: Doctor. If Found, Please Return.

We seem to have, ah, misplaced a member of our team. He calls himself the Doctor, or sometimes John Smith. He is approximately 6'1, brown hair, brown eyes. He carries a sonic screwdriver (a kind of metal stick with a light on the end that makes a sort of whirring buzz) and may or may not talk very quickly and/or loudly to himself and/or others, using long complicated words and scientific terms. He is generally enthusiastic and easily excited. If found, please return to the Venus Project Laboratories, (VPL) Venus, (Sol II), Mutters Spiral (sometimes known as the Stellian Galaxy or Galaxia Kyklos, depending on your species). Please contact Sophie Fletcher, Science Department.

Please Note: If he tells you to run for your life, don't question. Just do it. (Especially if he tells you to stay out of the shadows, or not to blink.)

I also haven't seen the Master in a while, which is unusual...I sent him to go check the TARDIS library--for the third time--to see if the Doctor might be there. Seeing as I sent him yesterday, you'd think he'd be back by now. Fortunately, I haven't seen him since.

With one third of the team missing, an extra workload is put on us all--Oh, who am I kidding. It doesn't make a difference, as I do everything anyway.

Research in the Lab

Research in the lab is going well, apart from a few minor explosions caused by certain associates. Most of our experiments have been successful, apart from a few of my personal favorites that were sabotaged.
While the Doctor and I explored the many aspects of Volcanic Surfing last week, the Master managed to rip a large hole in my protective suit. He continues to insist that it was an accident, and that he didn't MEAN to point the atomic laser in my direction, but I remain suspicious, as he has tried many times to get rid of me before. He also insists on excluding me from as many activities as possible, although I always find a way to participate, even when they are risky and dangerous. He also tries to embarrass me as much as possible, but I don't let these obstacles get in my way and continue to remain dignified at all times on this expedition.