Friday, November 4, 2011

How I Survived Halloween

Incredibly, I am still alive. I haven't seen the Master for four days. I knew he was planning something extremely illegal and possibly life-threatening for Halloween, because honestly, what else would the Master do?
I won't go into details, (because he broke several intergalactic laws and the Doctor would surely be upset if I got his husband arrested) but I will tell you it involved a nail file, the mysteriously missing molotov cocktail, a snow blower, a teacup pig, and several events uncannily similar to an old Irish folktale.
The important thing is, I survived and haven't seen the Master since! I managed to lock him out of the building and barricade all entrances to the apartment. I must remember to thank the Doctor for thinking up that In Case of Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan. It has come in very useful.
I hope the Master didn't help him develop it, though, because then he would know how to use the emergency exit. (You may think it is stupid to have an emergency exit during a zombie apocalypse. But what if one of the other barricades falls through? Then you'll need an alternative method of escape!)
I'm probably just psyching myself out, but I swear I can hear a strange ticking-scratching sound coming from somewhere. It's probably nothing.
But just in case...
If I die, Jack, you gain rights to the apartment and all my stuff. As well as my science equipment (Doctor, you can take back all the future-science-y things you gave me. TimeWimey and all of that. Also you can have those shoes you liked. I swear, you have freakishly small feet. And they can totally pass for Man Shoes.)
It is very quiet in here now....too quiet. I can't even hear the sounds of the street outside, or the loud creaky elevator used by the other tenants. I'm sure the Master has something to do with this.
Come to think of it, I can't even hear the keyboard clicking. The Master must be standing outside with some sort of Noise Cancellation Ray or something equ