Hello everyone! Sorry for the long break there. Just after Valentines Day there was an...er...incident in the lab involving the Master and (not unexpectedly) a potential Weapon of Mass Destruction. Surprisingly, no one was injured...although I'm sure several egos have been bruised. The Master happened upon a Laser Beam DNA Extrapolator (I know the name may not make sense...there's a long complicated story behind it that involves the asymptote of the speed of light, the Pythagorean Theorem (multiplied to the power of XYN) and a back entrance to the Time Vortex). The Master somehow misinterpreted my "DO NOT TOUCH, MASTER THIS MEANS YOU!" sign on the vault in the lab, "accidentally" picked the fourteen locks and hacked into the DNA recognition system (designed to keep him OUT) and "just so happened" to find the Extrapolator. What it is designed to do is scan a life form, determine its DNA and calculate its origins and all available information about it without any physical contact. It is completely harmless to any creature but needs frequent testing (hence the Lava Shark--we know little about their species, so when it finally works, it will set multiple scientific breathroughs into motion with one discovery!)
The Master broke into the lab late at night, poked around in the settings for a bit, then set it off (really by accident this time). It stayed on until early this morning, when I heard the battery alarm beeping to be recharged.
We noticed its effects about a week ago, when everyone woke up as the opposite physical gender as they were when they went to sleep the night before. This has become extremely awkward, as the Doctor is very hormonal and confused, whereas the Master has entirely embraced this new change and has taken to dressing suggestively and acting in a promiscuous manner, claiming that he is merely "learning to use his feminine charms". Jack is mostly indifferent about his own new body, but is enjoying the perks that come with being female.
(Get your minds out of the gutter...Jack's new favorite store is Sephora.)
The Master is surprisingly small--even for a girl--and the Doctor is unusually tall. Somehow the Masters hair grew much longer, and looks as though it has been professionally styled. I don't know how this happened, seeing as the Doctors hair is only a few inches longer than it was before and is not very flattering (sorry, but there it is. Maybe with some gel or something it will look better.)
We'll continue to post on this unusual development soon. For now, we have some shopping to do. While I have three closets to choose from, its a little tough for three so different..."girls" to choose from my limited wardrobe.
WELL NOW. It appears as though the Master has finally overstepped my boundaries, and I believe I may have to have a little chat with my husb--wife. Wife... ugh, I never thought I'd have another one of those. Honestly, the whole matter of being a woman doesn't bother me, however the Master is now convinced I must carry his child. Him being a woman helps my case, but not for long. I overheard him muttering to himself how he intends to repair the machine and turn himself back, me excluded.
ReplyDeleteI fear this more with everyday. It is physically possible for men to have children, though a terribly difficult and uncomfortable task. (Jack knows)
However apart from the Master, I am having a lovely time with... female wiles. Um... yah. Its a laugh. Haha. I find it strange however, books I put on the black list a long time ago seem to be calling to be read and reevaluated. No clue why I would ever enjoy them, and yet... they just... call...
And vampires are now attractive. Its all so strange. I'm also drawn to a show called "Baywatch". Maybe Sophie can explain.
Omgeeee this is the most fun experience ever! I have so many more options for sexual exploites than I did before.....well I was thinking that was too much info...but I really don't care!!! gurls share everything right? tehehehe
ReplyDeleteThe down side to this whole situation though is my coat doesn't quite fit me right....it kind of hangs of my pathetic lady shoulders, and I also havn't quite perfected my smoldering look with this new feminine face...it seems to look more like an uncomfortable grimace.
Seriously though, this is fantastic! I work this look!
ReplyDeleteDoctor, I recommend you thoroughly think this whole child thing through, which I don't think you have. All pregnancy/childbirth issues aside, what kind of offspring do you think the Master is going to raise?
ReplyDeleteVampires are attractive. I don't know why, but I've launched a minor study as one of my pet projects. It's a strange phenomena occuring in the female variety of our species, which began in the late twentieth century for no apparent reason. It's something to do with the blood thing.
Personally I find the werewolves of the old stories more attractive. That Taylor Lautner...*whew*
I've never understood the appeal of the whole Baywatch idea; it's always struck me as more of a guy thing.
And Jack, I'm sure you do "work the look" sweetie, but we all need you to put down that coat. It doesn't work with your new...physique.
I'm sorry to say the repair of the Laser Beam DNA Extrapolator will be just a tad delayed. In an effort to speed things up, I have banned the Master from the lab.
Not to worry everyone! First things first. We'll make a mall trip tomorrow and fix the clothing problem.
Remember...er, boys...when in doubt, nothing solves a problem faster than a little shopping therapy.
I actually happen to find vampires quite unnatractive...there is something about their cold blank eyes and icy skin that really turns me off...I would have to agree with Sophie that the werewolves are much more appealing.
ReplyDeleteOh and Sophie I'm sorry but I happen to love this coat and it is not going anywhere....but just for you I will put it away untill the Laser Beam DNA Extrapolator is fixed which I (despite me loving my new look) want to be fixed very soon as seeing the master as a woman is kind of freaking me out.
Aww, thank you...er....Jacqueline?
ReplyDeleteYes. Master, I just have one question before I go back to work on the Laser--how did you get your hair to be so glossy?
(Also, would you PLEASE put on some pants? That dress is so short it may as well be a shirt!)
Ya...I don't think I like that, let's stick with Jack...
ReplyDeleteBut absolutely Master, it's really unpleasant. Sort of burns my eyes every time I look at you...so wrong... *blek*
Sophie, we have been going out for a while and I really like you but me being a girl and you being a guy is really throwing me off, I have been making the best of this situation for a while now, but it's starting to get old...pleeeaaaase fix it...please.