A trip gone wrong

Aaah, sorry bout that, now. What'd I miss?
Oh, not much apparently. Sorry 'bout the Master, Sophie.
Sometimes he can't control himself. Well... more than sometimes.
Anywho, you may be wondering where I was. Well, it all started
about a month ago, when I was cleaning the TARDIS. I found a
shiny thing on the floor, and when I picked it up to examine it,
it absorbed me! I know, I should have realized earlier that
it was a Extrontilipious Texhindrink Nanophot, but, alas. It was too late.
It spat me up in a strange new universe, where, upon landing in a rather
pink tree, I came across a nice young lady by the name of Toshiko.
Upon seeing me in the tree, she called upon a very kind Owl
Griffin by the name of Hergin to pick me up and put me down.
She then told me their names, and to their home.
Toshiko's husband, Owen, then told me that their villiage hadnt had
rain for 7 years, and they were probably going to starve if, I recall
his exact words, the stupid fat clouds didnt go piss in the next few
months. When these beautifully thought out words hit my ears,
I knew, something must be done. So, I embarked on a terrifying
journey down a yellow brick road and some stuff happened.
Anyways, I got to a castle, saved a man called Ianto from
a terrifying 456 beast, ran into a man who looked suspiciously like Jack,
who then took Ianto from me in exchange for a flute, that when
played summoned rain, I played it, it rained, there were Bollywood dances,
and with all the joy and love in the air, I was teleported back to Earth,
somehow, and so, here I am! (I had to do a poledance to get enough UU
to make it over here.)

So, hope that explains my absence.