Monday, September 5, 2011

Back to Earth....Literally

Hello everyone! Sorry we've been so long. Unfortunately have been removed from the Venus Project due to the Gender Bender problem. Also, it turns out I was supposed to be working on the Venus Project alone, so Jack, the Doctor and the Master were staying in the Venus Research Center illegally. (even though they were fully self-sustained by the TARDIS)
En route from Venus to London, the TARDIS accidentally landed in Nevada, USA. After a good few days of frightening the locals, US government officials arrived and we were promptly sent to Area 51 for ''documentation''. Once convinced that none of us were illegal immigrants, aliens, or in any way exceptional (a complete and total lie) they released us and sent us back to Britain. However, the TARDIS was held for research. When they discovered the TARDIS was impossible to break into, it was supposed to be shipped to my flat in London. Instead, it is somewhere in Canada, travelling unaccompanied. Thank you, US postal service.
Now we are all crammed into my two-bedroom flat. The Master and Doctor share one room (sleeping on the floor until we can get another bed) and Jack and I share the other. So far we have survived one day living like this. I cook, clean, and generally take care of the upkeep of the flat. Jack keeps giving me puppy dog eyes because I won't let him leave the apartment because he's crossed his own timestream and we can't risk him running into his past self, who is currently running Torchwood Three.
The Doctor is trying to realize his greatest dream: living an ordinary life. He wants to work in a shop. So far all his applications have been rejected due to lack of real references. He tries to help with the cooking and cleaning, but keeps getting distracted by loose light bulbs, dripping faucets and Mrs. Next Doors new kitten. He has also fallen in love with several soap operas.
The Master hasn't even tried to get a job, and is instead lounging around the house, basking in his unemployed glory.
I don't know how much longer I can survive this.

8 comments:

  1. YES
    I AM SO GLOURIUS
    WORSHIP ME FOOLISH HUMANS
    AND I MAY SPARE YOUR MISERABLE LIVES


    ...


    jk lol

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  2. Master, there is such a thing called sarcasm which I don't believe you are familiar with. I was using it when I wrote the word "glory".
    I am also changing the password to the WiFi until you find some way of making money.
    (A legal way, please.)

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  3. Yeah, well, I sarcasemed you right back. thats what jk lol MEANS.

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  4. MASTER. When I said LEGAL I meant LEGAL ON EARTH. GO FIND A JOB.

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  5. I have found a job at a Psych lab. happy?

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  6. As long as you don't cause any lasting damage to the test subjects.
    I mean it, Master. Any reports of multiple people looking identical to you, or Toclafane rampaging through the streets or something, and I will deal with you.

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  7. those two previous schemes definatley wont happen!

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